200 Kebab Shops

200 Kebab Shops

Lightyear
(album: Chris Gentleman´s Hairdresser And Railway Book Shop)

Scarred elbows and a brain
A lot less pungent but eventually it smells the same
Of out-of-date normality
A best before performance which I needed
It´s a drug technically
Get in, load in, load out
We argue, we shout
Some lyrics, attention that we should pay

We don´t speak enough
I struggle to say

Ten hours sitting in a van
Would probably even turn
Noam Chomsky´s brain to spam
(Deterring Democracy)

Two hundred pubs
Two hundred kebab shops
(It´s doing my fucking head in)
Two hundred pubs
Two hundred kebab shops
(I´m a gold bullion with lead in)
Bring me Ben Lee, a bit of dry ground
Three sixty flips which I lost then found
Bring me some strings and maybe two tins
A cheap talkplan but not too many rings
Not too many rings
Not too many rings
Not too many rings
Not too many rings

I realise I´ve
Been priveleged
To lead this life
Although I need new shoes
So sometimes my feet itch and my
Council of Elrond tells me to try something new
Terribly Sorry Bob you can´t take Bad Karma
My Self Abused
Or my Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
I´m afraid you won´t leave with
Something to Remember Me By

Two hundred pubs
Two hundred kebab shops
(It´s doing my fucking head in)
Two hundred pubs
Two hundred kebab shops
(I´m a gold bullion with lead in)
Bring me Ben Lee, a bit of dry ground
Three sixty flips which I lost then found
Bring me some strings and maybe two tins
A cheap talkplan but not too many rings
Not too many rings
Not too many rings
Not too many rings
(Not too many rings)

"Well yeah, I find this really hard to do. I love being in a band, there´s
nothing like performing and playing live, and meeting people; but
sometimes it all gets a bit too much. There are a few months where
you´re surviving on three pounds a day, which is three portions of
chips and whatever we can steal off the big headline band. I´m
spending that much time in a van with other people, it´s a bit of a
headfuck to say the least. The point of this song was to say that as
well as seeing hundreds of venues last year, we also saw hundreds of
kebab shops; and that touring can be very mentally and physically
tiring. It´s weird - normally on tour after a few weeks I´m so tired I
become a zombie, get loose in the village and talk to anyone. I
consider myself to love communicating with people, but I hate the way
that I develop this psychosis. I try, but shit just comes out which has
absolutely no conviction whatsoever. I think that people think we´re
making loads of money because we´re in a band, and I know I might
sound like a cunt but don´t ask me to buy you a beer ´cause I´m "in
the band", ´cause I´m skint; but I´ll happily steal one from OPM if you
want. This is a complete ramble by the way, and I think that when
Household Name hear this, they´ll be like "What the fuck is Chas
doing?" but I would like to say thank you for coming to all our shows;
I really just don´t understand how the band got from playing in Jim´s
garage while I was singing down a headphone on a bamboo pole in
front of two viewers, Jim´s dog and his sisters, to playing to the
thousands of people... I´m writing this five minutes before we do the
recording. I´m so sad."